With Father’s Day 2010 in the rearview mirror, it’s time to start looking at ways we can be even better dads in our next year of fatherhood. If you’re on board with that goal, then we’re here to help! Fathering is a journey, with opportunities for constant improvement, but where do you start? We have a tip — and a tool — that will simplify things a bit and keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

Peter Spokes, our friend and co-worker who passed away last month, once told the story of receiving a call from a young father. This dad had four children and thought he was going to go crazy. He had all kinds of challenges and didn’t know where to begin. During the phone call, the young dad brought up an issue, and Peter asked a few questions to clarify, then offered a suggestion or two the dad could try. By the time their conversation was done, they had talked through seven or eight different issues. Peter felt like he had helped the guy.

A few months later, Peter ran into this same dad at a function, and they talked again. The dad knew Peter had some good wisdom, so he asked five more questions about being a dad, and Peter gave him more ideas and fathering strategies. When they were just about through, Peter had an insight many of us can learn from. He asked the other dad, “Remember the last time we talked, and the other things I suggested? How many of those have you started on?” As expected, the young dad’s answer was, “None, yet.” Here was a dad who was overwhelmed. He asked ten or twelve questions, got that many answers, didn’t put them into practice, and was still overwhelmed.

So, what’s the point — and what did Peter tell him? Work on one thing at a time. Sometimes we hear about great basketball players who spend the off season working to improve the one area of their game that they know is weak. Maybe it’s an outside shot, or a cross-over dribble. Maybe it’s simply hitting the weight room to get stronger. In many ways, it’s like that with fathering. We all have ways we need to improve as dads. And today, there’s more advice for dads than ever. Much of it is right on. Take advantage of it, but work on one thing at a time.

What’s the area where you need to improve the most? Is it affirming your child? Or maybe having insight into his or her needs? Is it being consistent — keeping your promises and practicing what you preach? Do you struggle to find time to be the involved dad your kids need you to be? Taking time to assess your progress as a dad is imperative if you want to do your best for your kids. It’s important to know where you’re strong and where you need to make adjustments, and which “one thing” you need to address first. Our online fathering profile will help you do that, based on the six fathering fundamentals that fall under the Championship Fathering framework of Loving, Coaching, and Modeling. Then you can benefit from Peter’s advice and take specific actions to address that area and do your best for your children in this next year of fatherhood. Take the profile here.

ACTION POINTS

• In this “new year” of your fathering, revisit your fathering-related New Year’s resolutions, then renew your commitment to follow through and improve in one of those areas.
• As you take the profile and discover an area for improvement, be sure to also note your strengths. Be affirmed in those areas and continue to capitalize on them.
• Wish a younger dad a belated “Happy Father’s Day.” Be ready to share one fathering insight you’ve picked up in your fathering journey.
• Ask a more experienced dad, “What’s your number one piece of advice on being a better dad?”
• As you seek to improve in a specific area as a father, find another dad (or two, or four) and pursue Championship Fathering together. That encouragement and accountability from other dads will be priceless.

Related Posts

• “I love you more than…”